if only i could text you this smell
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
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