Me too!
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Randomize
