Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
