sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
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