Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
Randomize