real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize
