I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Randomize