Banned from zoo.
Again?
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Randomize
