I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
He did a backflip because drugs
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