Buhtt sex?
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
I could have mohawked her pubes.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
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