I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
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