I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Randomize
