The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
Randomize
