so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
So much rum. So many feels.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Randomize
