I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
Randomize
