I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
Woke up backwards on a recliner
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
Randomize
