It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
