he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Randomize
