oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Randomize
