i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
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