just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
