it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
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