Got a toothbrush?
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
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