what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
he puts the penis in happiness.
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
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