end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
