Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
