Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
Randomize
