Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
