i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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