I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
Randomize
