Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize