whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Randomize
