she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Randomize
