Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
I'm just crazy horny about you
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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