he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
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