I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
I have fence marks all over my body
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
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