O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
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