considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
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