I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
Randomize
