My underwear smells like fireworks.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize
