btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
