did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Randomize
