ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
Welp...herpes.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Randomize
