Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
