and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
