I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
Randomize
