You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Randomize
