I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
Randomize
