Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Randomize
