I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
As shirtless as possible
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
Randomize