what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
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