we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
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