hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
