You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Randomize
