Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
