I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
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