Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
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