Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
Randomize
