K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
Randomize
