somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Randomize
