Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
